Dear Friends,

Today we offer you an amazing pre-Lenten gift. No, it's not a hair shirt -- you'll have to find one of those on eBay. It's a free, no-strings-attached newsletter/website article ghost written by the Supreme Executive Committee about Lent Madness 2014. Feel free to use it (for free!) in your church's publications. If you are a parish administrator or communications specialist, this is your lucky day. If you are a priest that's on deadline and you've used one of your three wishes from the genie that came out of the oil lamp you stumbled upon in the undercroft on the magic appearance of a newsletter article, consider it granted.

That's not all, of course. Besides newsletters, this material can be used to e-mail friends and family, as graffiti around the neighborhood (note: the SEC has an ironclad alibi), by skywriters hired to spread the word, or applied in needlepoint to kneelers.

But please don't think of this as mere "filler." Think of it as "ful-fill-ment." And note that if you encounter any typos or prevarications, Scott and Tim will blame the other for the oversight.

But...in the spirit of the famous Ginsu Knives...that's not all! Use this article now and we'll throw in free widgets for your website or blog!

Lent Madness 2014

The Saintly Smack Down!

Grit, determination, perseverance. These are the traits, along with the obvious one -- holiness -- that will be needed to win the 2014 Lent Madness Golden Halo. Based loosely on the NCAA basketball tournament, Lent Madness pits 32 saints against one another in a single-elimination bracket. It is also a wildly popular online devotional designed to help people learn about saints.

Lent Madness began in 2010 as the brainchild of the Rev. Tim Schenck, an Episcopal priest and rector of St. John’s Church in Hingham, Massachusetts. In seeking a fun, engaging way for people to learn about the men and women who make up the church’s calendar of saints, Schenck came up with this unique Lenten devotion. Combining his love of sports with his passion for the lives of the saints, Lent Madness was born on his blog “Clergy Family Confidential.”

Starting in 2012, Schenck partnered with Forward Movement (the same folks that publish Forward Day by Day) executive director the Rev. Scott Gunn, and Lent Madness went viral, reaching over 50,000 people and getting mentioned in everything from the Washington Post to  USA Today, to Sports Illustrated (seriously).

Here’s how it works: on the weekdays of Lent information is posted at www.lentmadness.org about two different saints. Each pairing remains open for 24 hours as participants read about and then vote to determine which saint moves on to the next round. Sixteen saints make it to the Round of the Saintly Sixteen; eight advance to the Round of the Elate Eight; four make it to the Faithful Four; two to the Championship; and the winner is awarded the coveted Golden Halo.

The first round consists of basic biographical information about each of the 32 saints. Things get a bit more interesting in the subsequent rounds as we offer quotes and quirks, explore legends, and even move into the area of saintly kitsch. It’s fun, it’s informative, it’s the saintly smack down!

This year Lent Madness features an intriguing slate of saints ancient and modern, Biblical and ecclesiastical. The 2014 heavyweights include Thomas Merton, Catherine of Siena, J.S. Bach, David of Wales, John Wesley, Harriet Beecher Stowe, and Joseph of Arimathaea. The full bracket is online at the Lent Madness website.

New this year is the publication of the Saintly Scorecard -- The Definitive Guide to Lent Madness 2014. Available through Forward Movement, it contains biographies of all 32 saints to assist those who like to fill out their brackets in advance, in addition to a full-color pull-out bracket.

This all kicks off on “Ash Thursday,” March 6. To participate, visit www.lentmadness.org, where you can also print out a bracket for free to see how you fare or “compete” against friends and family members. Like that other March tournament, there will be drama and intrigue, upsets and thrashings, last-minute victories and Cinderellas.

Ten “celebrity bloggers” from across the country have been tapped to write for the project including the Rev. Laurie Brock of Lexington, KY; the Rev. Penny Nash of Williamsburg, VA; Dr. David Creech of Morehead, MN; the Rev. Megan Castellan of Kansas City, MO; Canon Heidi Shott of Newcastle, ME; the Rev. David Hendrickson of Denver, CO; the Rev. Amber Belldene of San Francisco, CA; the Rev. David Sibley of Brooklyn, NY; the Rev. Laura Darling of Oakland, CA; and the Rev. Maria Kane of Houston, TX. Information about each of the celebrity bloggers is available on the Lent Madness website.

If you’re looking for a Lenten discipline that is fun, educational, occasionally goofy, and always joyful, join the Lent Madness journey. Lent needn’t be all doom and gloom. After all, what could be more joyful than a season specifically set aside to get closer to God?

Forward Movement is a ministry of The Episcopal Church dedicated to making disciples and sharing the Good News. With offices in Cincinnati, Ohio, Forward Movement has worked since 1935 to reinvigorate the life of the church.

NOTE:
High-resolution graphics are available upon request. News organizations and non-profits may freely use graphics from the Lent Madness website, with attribution. Free Lent Madness widgets for website are also available for download.

Contact: press@lentmadness.org

The arrival of the pre-Lent high season brings back weekly episodes of Monday Madness, starting today! In this week's episode, Tim and Scott discuss how every lover of Lent Madness will be enjoying this "gesima" season, and not just on Sundays. Even more important, they highlight the newly published Saintly Scorecard: The Definitive Guide to Lent Madness 2014.

Yes, you know you want it: 96 pages of pure gold, including the official biographies of each of the 32 saints in this year's bracket. You can get biographies of your favorite Celebrity Bloggers, a handy glossary, and a brief history of Lent Madness. Each copy is hand signed* by the Supreme Executive Committee, and every single one features a full-color fold-out bracket, suitable for framing. Buy one for $3, ten or more for just $2 each, and if you go crazy with 25 or more copies, they're only a buck each. Just go buy it right now.

You can also get the Saintly Scorecard for your Kindle or Nook. Coming soon to an iGizmo near you.

Forget Downton Abbey, the best video entertainment is found on the Lent Madness channel on Vimeo.

* -- Some copies, or perhaps all of them, may have a printed signature.

2012 Golden Halo winner Mary Magdalene prepares to welcome her successor.

Well, friends, we began this Lent Madness journey over five weeks ago on “Ash Thursday.” We started with 32 saints and have now whittled the field down to two: Frances Perkins and Luke the Evangelist.

While there's been lots of talk about modern saints vs. "bedrock" saints and the "fairness" of it all, in the end the Faithful Four was very well balanced. We had a 20th-century lay woman, a 1st-century evangelist, a 20th-century martyred Salvadoran bishop, and a 7th-century abbess. Wow!

Regardless of the ultimate outcome, we’ve met some truly remarkable holy people along the way. Perhaps you learned about folks you’d never heard of or maybe you renewed acquaintances with saints who have long offered inspiration. Of course the entire notion of placing saints in a bracket is absurd — each “contestant” has already earned a crown of righteousness in addition to a “golden halo.” But at the heart of Lent Madness is the abiding conviction that encountering those who have come before us in the faith enriches and enlivens our own walk with the risen Christ.

In the process of this whimsical Lenten devotion we've all made some new online friends, encountered a community of believers who take their faith but not themselves too seriously, learned some things, were inspired by saintly witnesses, and had a lot fun along the way.

Of course we literally couldn’t have done this without our stellar “Celebrity Bloggers” to whom we offer sincere gratitude. Laurie Brock, Megan Castellan, Penny Nash, Heidi Shott, David Sibley, Laura Toepfer, Neil Alan Willard, Chris Yaw. The unsung hero of this whole operation is former Celebrity Blogger and current Bracket Czar Adam Thomas. And we can't forget the ever mysterious Maple Anglican who brought us the inimitable shenanigans of Archbishops Thomas and John (watch today's video highlighting our final match-up here). You all rock!

Finally, thanks to all of you who participated by voting, commenting, drinking coffee out of Lent Madness mugs, filling in brackets, talking about saints at coffee hour, and allowing us to play a small role in your Lenten journey. We’ve loved having each one of you along for the “madness” and on behalf of the Supreme Executive Committee we wish you a blessed Holy Week and a joyous Easter.

Oh, wait, there’s one more thing before we set our face toward the Triduum. Cast your vote for either Frances Perkins or Luke the Evangelist — the 2013 Golden Halo hangs in the balance! The polls will be open for 24 hours and the winner will be announced at 8:00 am Eastern time on Maundy Thursday.

Frances Perkins

"The technique of administration in a democracy is not easy…The statute law and the natural law, the law of God, must be somehow or other blended together, and fairness and decency and patience must prevail."
Frances Perkins, 1939

Luke the Evangelist

"Do not be afraid; for see -- I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people."
Luke 2:10

Vote!

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"The End is Near!" proclaims the ubiquitous sign of the doomsday prophet. In the case of Lent Madness 2013, our sign-wielding friend would be correct. Welcome to the Faithful Four. After weeks of learning and voting and debating, the saintly field has been whittled down from 32 to four spiritual heavyweights: Frances Perkins, Hilda of Whitby, Luke the Evangelist, and Oscar Romero.

As we like to tell our five-year-olds when they join their first soccer team (that’s football for our friends across the pond), “there are no losers, everybody’s a winner.” Of course we’re lying. Thus, while we can sing the praises of these saints, only one Golden Halo will be awarded.

Today Frances Perkins takes on Hilda of Whitby; tomorrow Luke the Evangelist battles Oscar Romero; and on Spy Wednesday the championship round will take place. For the Faithful Four, we let our remaining Celebrity Bloggers loose as they answer the question “Why should Saint XX win the Golden Halo?” In other words, they’ve been charged with letting us know why their particular saint is so awesome. In this match-up, Heidi Shott is advocating for Frances Perkins and Laurie Brock for Hilda of Whitby. Tomorrow Laura Toepfer is writing for Luke the Evangelist and Megan Castellan for Oscar Romero.

To make it to the Faithful Four, bracket Cinderella Frances Perkins made it past Damien of Molokai, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Jonathan Daniels. Hilda of Whitby bested Samuel Seabury, Ignatius of Antioch, and Harriet Tubman. Here's your chance to send one of these inspiring women off to vie for the Golden Halo.

Don't forget to watch Maple Anglican's video previewing today's match-up.

Frances Perkins

In his 2010 essay in The Anglican Examiner, “Frances Perkins: Architect of the Gracious Society,” Donn Mitchell begins by recounting how Perkins once answered a provocative question.

‘Don't you think it's wrong for people to get things they don't pay for?’

‘Why no,’ Frances Perkins responded. ‘I find I get so much more than I pay for. Don't you?’

The woman who had conceived, birthed, nursed, and nurtured the New Deal's crowning achievement — the Social Security Act -- the Social Security Act — was revealing the theological perspective that informed her long career advocating, shaping, and ultimately implementing social policy. She knew she had not paid for the earth she walked on or the parents who had raised her. She had not ‘earned’ the breath in her lungs. All life was an unearned gift from God, as she saw it.

Perkins with President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

What we ‘got,’ in her view, was a function of grace, not merit or its inverse correlate, sin. A godly society, therefore, would be a gracious society. Just as God had endowed humankind with the basics and then allowed them freedom to develop their capacities to create and contribute, so the community should graciously guarantee basic provision for its individual members while allowing maximum freedom to make their way in the world.

Plaque at St. Andrew's, Newcastle, Maine

We talk a great deal about the theology of abundance and the theology of scarcity in the Episcopal Church. Often it’s used to transform our old notions of stewardship or to get members thinking about capital campaign gifts. The transformation is local -- our own hearts or perhaps, on a truly miraculous scale, the collective heart of a congregation.

But Frances Perkins took her belief in the theology of abundance to an astonishing level. Through incredible hard work and determination and in the midst of a political and social climate that is unimaginable for a late-boomer woman like me, Perkins extended her theology to the whole nation for the benefit of all its citizens.

Perkins with President John F. Kennedy (Bettman/Corbis)

The prologue of Kirstin Downey’s biography, The Woman Behind the New Deal: The Life of Frances Perkins, FDR’S Secretary of Labor and His Moral Conscience, begins with the ultimatum that Perkins gave to Roosevelt before she would accept the appointment to become his Secretary of Labor.

“On a chilly February night in 1933, a middle-aged woman waited expectantly to meet with her employer at his residence on East 65th Street in New York City. She clutched a scrap of paper with hastily written notes. Finally ushered into his study the woman brushed aside her nervousness and spoke confidently....

He wanted her to take an assignment but she had decided she wouldn’t accept it unless he allowed her to do it her own way. She held up the piece of paper in her hand, and he motioned for her to continue. She ticked off the items: a forty-hour workweek, a minimum wage, worker’s compensation, unemployment compensation, a federal law banning child labor, direct federal aid for unemployment relief, Social Security, a revitalized public employment service, and health insurance.”

Sloane, the girlfriend in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,  might have been just as astutely describing Perkins as Ferris when she said, “You knew what you were doing when you woke up this morning.”

Frances Perkins knew what she was doing.

I wasn’t thinking about Perkins, years ago, when I wrote an essay called “Cleaning the Fridge,” but now it seems obvious. “The people we revere most are simply human beings choosing from among the options laid out before them and then doing the work they’ve been given to do. Most of them would avoid the hard and unpleasant stuff given the chance. Most, like Melville’s Bartleby, ‘would prefer not to.’ But the difference between our saints and the rest of us is they do the hard things anyway.”

Frances Perkins -- lay woman, public servant, doer of hard things because they needed to be done. She knew God imbued her with the strength, talent, and experience to do them, and, like another saint in the bracket, she knew she could do no other.

-- Heidi Shott

Hilda of Whitby

Hilda (or, more correctly Hild of Streaneschalch) is not known for one spectacular moment. Some saints are. That one moment where they make such a devoted decision out of love we are left in awe. She is not known for a profound body of literature, as are other saints. In fact, nothing of her own writing exists. Most of what we know about her was written by Bede. She is not known for anything other than perhaps hosting a synod.

Or at least that’s what I thought when I began my Lenten relationship with Hilda. Almost forty days and several rounds later, I am in awe of this woman who is not known for anything spectacular other than her profound ability to encourage others.

She might not have left her own writings, but when a young monk named Caedmon who

Abbess Hilda receiving Caedmon

cared for animals at Whitby had a dream about composing song, Hilda encouraged him to write. In doing so, she helped birth what would become English poetry. She might not have been a great queen or powerful politician, but her compassionate wisdom grounded in the Gospel encouraged kings and rulers who sought her advice. She might not have been a pope or priest or bishop, but she created a community where equality of property, study, and communal prayer encouraged education and parity in a double monastery. Five of her monks became bishops; two are revered as saints.

She might not have even carried the day at Whiby, that synod she hosted. Yes, the Roman date of Easter and monastic hairstyle won, but Hilda continued to encourage. She encouraged Christianity to remain unified, despite differences. She encouraged obedience to the vote that carried the day, even though she personally disagreed with the outcome. She stood with unified dignity in a way our modern church leaders could emulate as we struggle with decisions that can be divisive.

However we view saints, they are (hopefully) very human people who lived their lives in very remarkable ways. And while I will always be impressed with Hilda’s turning snakes to stone, I am in awe of her extraordinary ability to encourage others and to create a community where that encouragement could thrive. I am humbled by her example of desiring a unified, faithful community over her own position.

Hilda’s life is a holy example that speaks to us today as we wrestle with a changing church, with new understandings of theology that can be challenging and divisive, and with the temptation to nurture our own egos rather than encouraging lives lived in the radical love of Christ. She reminds us that this place is nothing new for the church. Her life speaks with calm love to us all. And her ministry of encouragement -- all of those spectacular moments she wove together in her days -- is still urging us on to live our lives in love, service, and community.

Thanks be to God.

-- Laurie Brock

Vote!

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With this our final round of Saintly Kitsch, the last spot in the Faithful Four is up for grabs. After a close race, Hilda of Whitby snuck by Harriet Tubman yesterday to join Frances Perkins and Oscar Romero as Lent Madness semi-finalists. Today it's Luke the Evangelist squaring off against Dorothy Day. Will the writer of Luke-Acts add another illustrious chapter to his legacy or will Dorothy carpe diem?

To get to this point Luke defeated Absalom Jones and John Donne while Dorothy made it past Edward Thomas Demby and Benedict of Nursia.

We've seen mugs and tote bags and trucker hats this week. Most of the Lent Madness faithful have enjoyed the respite from the serious business of learning even as the choices have become ever more agonizing. A handful have stormed off in a huff (though we have a funny feeling they're still voting). It's hard to believe there are only three voting days left in Lent Madness 2013. On Monday Frances Perkins will face Hilda of Whitby; on Tuesday it's Oscar Romero versus the winner of today's match-up; and on Spy Wednesday the two remaining saints grapple for the Golden Halo!

Luke the Evangelist

Keep your iPhone cases and T-shirts. Kitsch is not just about the cheap stuff. Questionable religious taste belongs to rich and poor alike, and for truly high-end saintly kitsch, apparently you need an evangelist.

It’s obvious that Luke, whose Mary extolled a God who has sent the rich away empty, would need a 14 Karat Gold prayer medal. This stunning beauty, originally priced at $2,438.99, is available on Amazon for only $928.99  -- a 62% savings! Of course, it will take a couple days extra to ship from the seller, a company named (and I am not making this up) CleverEve Inc. Clever, indeed! Especially since numerous other 14K gold St. Luke pendants can be found on Amazon or eBay at prices ranging from $157. This one, for a mere $199, is especially tasteful.

If you are looking for something more practical and economical, perhaps this Italian Charm Watch with Stainless Steel Band would do the trick. Available on eBay, the St. Luke watch “has 16 stainless steel blank Italian charm links and measures approx. 5.1/2", fully expanded approx. 7.1/2" and will fit most average sized wrists.” Add extra charm with extra charms! Question: Is Luke looking up like that in pain after being stabbed from the back by the watch hands? Or is he merely resting his hand on the mechanism to manage his carpal tunnel syndrome after writing the bulk of the New Testament?

You might wish to match the watch with these fabulous St. Luke earrings. That is, if you want to picture Luke as a creepy bibliophile, inviting to look closely at your earlobes and his etchings.

But for the truly highbrow, what you really want is Art, such as this “Nicely Cast European Silver Saint Luke.” I have no doubt that it is, as the seller describes, “a finely cast, European silver figurine made during the 19th century…in fabulous overall condition.” And to be fair, if kitsch describes something mass-produced, then this does not fit the bill. However, if you allow your definition to stretch to religious representations of dubious taste, one might allow that spending $960 for a 4½ inch tall silver representation of a gospel writer particularly concerned with the poor and needy might merit the mantle of kitsch.

-- Laura Toepfer

 Dorothy Day

Like beauty, kitsch -- especially as it relates to the saints -- is in the eye of the beholder. What seems to some as appallingly cheesy as dogs playing poker with Elvis appears to others as magnificently inspiring as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, where, as it happens, we once lost a son to a dense pack tourists for 30 long minutes. But that’s another story.

Dorothy Day, the American lay woman who co-founded the Catholic Worker movement and served tirelessly throughout her life on behalf of people living in poverty, did indeed spawn kitsch, but, like the woman herself who always wore donated clothes and lived a very simple life, it’s austere kitsch.

There is the famous poster by Bob Fitch who captured Day’s calm demeanor framed by police at a California protest organized by the United Field Workers in 1973. Seventy-six years old at the time, she was arrested later that day.

Those who are intent in promoting Day for sainthood have recognized the power of t-shirts and bumper stickers to make their case. The “Sainthood Now” campaign seems to speak with a revolutionary tone that Day might have endorsed for a less self-referential cause.

Speaking of revolution, this t-shirt captures the spirit of her conversion nicely, “The greatest challenge of the day is how to bring about a revolution of the heart.” Ain’t that the truth?

Of course, not all Google searches turn up treasures you can buy -- or even see. For example, the Dorothy Day Archives at Marquette University apparently house, tucked away in some “Raiders of the Lost Ark” storeroom, the following items:

• Runner hand-loomed by Dorothy Day, ca. 1936
• Clothing worn by Dorothy Day: belt , coat, night gowns (2), scarves (2), stockings (2), n.d.
• Prison smock autographed by inmates and Joan Baez on 2 August 1973
• Hair clippings from Dorothy Day's brush, 6 April 1980
• Straw hat worn by Dorothy Day when she was arrested in support of farm workers in 1973
• Last typewriter used by Dorothy Day (acquired ca. 1974)

Hair clippings! Stockings!

And unlike web searches on St. Luke the Evangelist or, say, Macrina the Younger, it is possible for a Celebrity Blogger to land on the Jacksonville PD’s website and realize that in 2005 Dorothy Day, aged 56 -- after what must have been a bad night -- was arrested for domestic assault. Obviously not our Dorothy Day.

Day wrote, “My strength returns to me with my cup of coffee and the reading of the psalms.”

That brings us to the most ubiquitous of kitsch: the mug, both travel and ceramic, and its night-before cousin, the stein.

Then there is this deliciously funny mug. My boss, Bishop Steve Lane, has a terrific laugh and it’s fun to find ways to crack him up, which, verily, he did yesterday when I told him about this mug.

But always, always, we circle back to where we started. Back to truth and beauty and its beholder. One of the best finds of all is a mural of Dorothy Day painted by Amanda Webber at Luther Place Memorial Church in Washington, D.C.

Other doorways at the church are arrayed with murals of St. Martin of Birmingham and St. Francis of Assisi. At the dedication of the Dorothy Day door in May 2011, Pastor Karen Brau said, “We celebrate today the gifts of Biblical hospitality lived out in the life of St. Dorothy Day of New York. A woman who came to her faith in adulthood, St. Dorothy took the words of Jesus so seriously that she sought ways to live out Jesus’ love for all people, particularly the most vulnerable — the poor.”

And the people said, “Amen.”

-- Heidi Shott

Vote!

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Well, we hope you enjoyed your first foray into the round of Saintly Kitsch. If you didn't, that's a shame since we're all kitsch, all the time here at Lent Madness for the rest of the week.

Yesterday Frances Perkins continued her Cinderella-like run through the bracket defeating Jonathan Daniels in heavy voting to earn a spot in the Faithful Four where she'll face either Hilda of Whitby or Harriet Tubman.

Today it's another trailblazing woman facing off against another modern martyr. Florence Li Tim-Oi made it to the Elate Eight by stomping on Chad of Lichfield in the most lopsided match-up of Lent Madness 2013 and then sailing past Gregory the Great. Oscar Romero emerged victorious in his two previous battles soundly defeating Elizabeth Ann Seton and trouncing Lucy.

Along the way we heard from at least a few Kitsch Kranks -- if we don't, we start to get worried. Among the comments were

"The kitsch thing is distracting...you're trying too hard to be funny."

To which we respond: Kitsch, like Lent Madness, is serious business. Also, we're never funny. We leave that to circus clowns and cats making funny faces on Facebook.

Yesterday's match-up also had someone "quit" Lent Madness for the first time:

"I give up. Obviously PC has governed both the brackets and the voting. When Christ's own apostles are beaten out by simply good people, the humor and fun goes out of the game. I'm glad, however, Jesus was not one of the 'contestants.' He would have lost to a feminist, ecologist, or chicken-raiser. It was fun for a while, but I quit."

First of all, both members of the Supreme Executive Committee use Macs so the statement "Obviously PC has governed both the brackets and the voting" is impossible. Secondly, there are two untouchable in Lent Madness -- you will never see Jesus or Mary in a bracket. Finally, we prefer our saints to be hell-raisers (like  John Donne) not chicken-raisers (like whatever you're referring to).

Finally, check out Maple Anglican's Lent Madness video of the day as the Archbishops preview today's match-up and answer viewer mail.

Florence Li Tim-Oi

This much beloved daughter of Lent Madness was baptized as a student and took the name Florence, in honor of Florence Nightingale. She was the first woman ordained to the Anglican priesthood on January 25, 1944. This is her beautiful icon.

The Celebrity Bloggers prayerfully celebrate and thank Florence for her witness and courage as she paved the way for women’s ordination by her faithful ministry and witness. However, Florence has no saintly kitsch. None. Nada. And believe me, if the Celebrity Bloggers and the Supreme Executive Committee couldn’t find kitsch, it simply does not exist.

So, bewailing the lack of anything resembling kitsch or even things oddly funny (we found a calendar, but it was just, well, a calendar), the snark triumvirate of Fr. Tim, Megan, and Laurie combined their respective superpowers and give you the best we have: Famous Flos.

Florence, Italy. The birthplace of the Renaissance, the home to the Medici family (which weren’t all that honorable like our Florence, but they did support many starving artists), and the place where the monk who lambasted immorality and greed (especially in the church) Savonarola was killed and Machiavelli, the political thinker, wrote The Prince.

Florence, Kentucky. It has this awesome water tower.

Florence Jean Castleberry is noted for her servant ministry. Born in Cowtown, Texas, to Edsel and Velma, she dropped out of school at 16 and subsequently married three times before finding her true calling as a waitress at Mel’s Diner. She became a confident and spiritual director of many patrons and fellow waitresses alike, most notably Alice. Flo (as she was known) eventually returned to Cowtown and bought a roadside juke joint, naming it Flo’s Yellow Rose. Her main liturgical response to many men and women is, “Kiss my grits.” Flo’s alter-ego, Polly Holliday, is an active member of the Episcopal Church.

Florence Henderson is best known for her role as Mrs. Brady. She was married before and had three daughters, but her former husband was apparently abducted by aliens, as he was never mentioned in the series. Mrs. Brady married Mr. Brady and this group would somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch. That’s the way we became the Brady Bunch.

You’re singing the theme song now, aren’t you? It will be in your head all day long. You’re welcome.

Florence Nightingale  Also a saint, this Florence was born in the afore-mentioned Florence, Italy in the early 19^th century. She became a nurse and volunteered to serve as a nurse during the Crimean War. Her strict approach to cleanliness and sanitation drastically reduced the death toll in field hospitals, and her leadership and innovation elevated nursing into a profession.  Nursing Florence, we might add, has kitsch, like this Andy Warhol-esque tote bag, because…why not?

Yes, yes, we KNOW about Florence + the Machine, about the Jefferson’s maid Florence, and a few others, but we do have day jobs. Sort of.

 -- Laurie Brock

Oscar Romero

The RELICS: There are first-order relics. When Romero was killed, he was celebrating mass at the cancer hospice where he lived. His vestments have been preserved, and can be viewed in San Salvador, (or online, at the Romero Trust, here). His body, on the other hand….

So we know Romero was killed by a death squad member. But we don't know who. And lo these thirty years later, we still don't really know for sure. (Though, there be many theories). After his death, his funeral was held on Palm Sunday, March 30 (appropriate.) It was a huge event, with thousands flocking to the cathedral, and TV crews broadcasting it around the world. During the service, the army threw smoke grenades into the crowd, then opened fire on the mourners. Over 40 people were killed by the end. The service was never finished, and Romero ended up hastily buried under the cathedral. When Rome recognized that there was a case for canonization, Romero was re-buried in a nicer (read: an actual) grave. As the government feared, this site has become a place of pilgrimage for many, including Pope John Paul II, and President Obama.

Less Upsetting Kitsch:

The MOVIE: Romero, with Raul Julia, made in 1989. Gomez Adams, as you have long wished to see him!  (The whole thing can be viewed in really bad quality on YouTube. Or, if you wish, it is also available on Amazon, as are all things, save salvation). It is very heartfelt, and quite moving.

Fortuitously, the casting of Raul Julia means that the saint Romero is name-checked in Mystery Science Theatre 3000: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, a movie ALSO starring Raul Julia. Yes, even Tom Servo and Crow know and appreciate the good archbishop.

The MUSICAL! And not just any musical: a children's musical. Here, at long last, is an activity for that bored Sunday School class! Awesomely, when you buy the rights, the music or the backing track, the proceeds all go to development projects in El Salvador.

There are SONGS! Namely, the Martyrs' Project has a rather good song, with lyrics entirely taken from the Archbishop's sermons and prayers. The video is here (scroll to the bottom), and is also comprised of footage of that time of war.

There are STATUES. Like at the National Cathedral and Westminster Abbey.  While the Roman Catholics may be late to the game in even officially proclaiming Romero a martyr, we Episcopalians have no such compunction. Martyrs are martyrs, y'all.

And, of course, there are T-SHIRTS, BUMPER STICKERS, MURALS....

In all seriousness, Romero's face has become as recognizable in Latin America as Washington's or Lincoln's is to us here in the United States. He truly does live on in the Salvadoran people.

-- Megan Castellan

Vote!

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And then there were eight. Through your voting and politicking and advocating and agonizing, we have collectively whittled down the field of 32 saints to a mere eight as we continue our march to the 2013 Golden Halo. Welcome to the Round of the Elate Eight, aka the Round of Saintly Kitsch.

Here are the match-ups for the rest of the week: today it's modern Civil Rights martyr Jonathan Daniels vs. the 2013 Lent Madness Cinderella, Frances Perkins. Wednesday: Florence Li Tim-Oi vs. Oscar Romero. Thursday: Harriet Tubman vs. Hilda of Whitby. Friday: Luke the Evangelist vs. Dorothy Day (who defeated Benedict yesterday). Good luck with that. With all of these match-ups, if you need a refresher on these saints beyond the kitsch, simply click on the Bracket 2013 link and scroll down -- you'll find hyperlinks to all of the previous battles listed by round.

Jonathan made it to this point by defeating Macrina the Younger and Janani Luwum while Frances earned her spot in the Elate Eight by overcoming Damien of Molokai and Martin Luther King, Jr. One intriguing thing about this particular match-up is that both have New England roots and Massachusetts connections. Daniels hails from Keene, New Hampshire, while Perkins is from Newcastle, Maine. Daniels attended Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge while Perkins is an alum of Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley. However, as far as Tim knows, neither one ever stepped foot in Hingham.

Last year the Supreme Executive Committee responded to those who didn't appreciate our kitsch in a post titled Kitsch Cranks. Sure, it's a bit snarky but it's a pretty good statement about where we stand on the issue. If there's anything we'd do differently, it would be to title it "Kitsch Kranks" because the "K's" form a better visual. Alas.

And finally, if you missed yesterday's Monday Madness video, Tim and Scott talk kitsch and even suffer through a certain holy "interruption." Oh, and like us on Facebook -- the Surgeon General insists it's good for your mental health.

Jonathan Daniels

From a series of exhaustive searches through the seedy underbelly of the internet that is Etsy and Pinterest, one might conclude that the Lent Madness kitsch cause for Jonathan Daniels is lost. In fact, Zazzle, that monumental edifice to internet kitsch, the site which is dedicated to the proposition that your cat, Mr. Biggles, is not only worthy of her own iPhone case – but that other people want to buy it – returns no results!

One might begin to think hope is lost. But lo, out of darkness, a light breaks from Jonathan Daniels Elementary School in Keene, NH. On the walls of the school hangs a very brightly colored mosaic of the school’s namesake, no doubt lovingly crafted by its students. (According to a story from the Keene Sentinel – unfortunately located behind an internet paywall - one student at the school has proposed the building of a museum dedicated to Daniels – a worthy cause indeed, and worth the Lent Madness public rallying around, if it is indeed still in the works.)

While there isn’t much kitsch for Daniels personally, various aspects of his life are very well represented in the kitsch-o-verse. In what is either a deep act of homage or a statement of extreme passive-aggressive feelings towards the Granite State, one may buy this lovely cutting board of Daniels’ home state.

If framed NH-themed art is more of your thing, I suggest this stunning image, entitled “Moose in the Moonlight.” For the record, we have no idea whether Daniels had a pet moose as a child. (You can also find various Moose-Themed Coffee Mugs, but we wouldn’t dare undercut mug sales over at the Lent Madness “Lentorium.”)

College kitsch is, of course, relatively easy to procure. Daniels’ alma mater, the Virginia Military Institute, offers this one-of-a-kind “We’re Number One” flashlight keychain. When looking at a “left-handed” version of the keychain, we note it looks much like Daniels’ home state of New Hampshire – no doubt in homage to one of VMI’s most distinguished graduates.

Perhaps one of the most common threads in New Hampshire kitsch – from the state’s license plates, to trucker hats with bears, and everything in between – is a devotion to the state’s motto: “Live Free or Die.” That seems to be the right note on which to end: Jonathan Daniels ultimately gave his life in the service of God, and of that ideal – that all of God’s children should enjoy equal rights and freedoms given to them for the service and glory of Jesus Christ.

-- David Sibley

Frances Perkins

For a Celebrity Blogger,  the Elate Eight round is fraught with fear. What if there IS NO SAINTLY KITSCH? After all, Frances Perkins was a serious woman who took her faith and her public service seriously.

Q: How many kitschy items could there possibly be for Secretary Perkins?

A: A fair few.

First, to help children learn about heroes of history, there is the “Color Me Perkins” coloring sheet. You can download it here.

To help you start your day, there’s the Frances Perkins mug. Available for $12.95, it’s “the perfect gift for the coffee and tea drinkin' feminists in your life.”

Let’s say you’ve put the finishing touches on the most influential legislation of the 21st century and would like to send it off with a friendly handwritten note to the Congressional leadership, you could not go wrong with a Frances Perkins notecard.

There is also a Frances Perkins cartoon by Michael McLean at Mini Dove Comics and, for the more serious among us, a lovely poster.

But the mother-perkins-lode may be found on the Mount Holyoke College website where some good soul has gathered no fewer than 57 (57!) examples of First Day Covers (FDC) of the Frances Perkins postage stamp issued to commemorate her 100th birthday on April 10, 1980.

Having studied all 57, I can assure you that not all FDC art is created equal. Here are two of my favorites. The first makes her look like she’s playing Mel Gibson’s mother in “The Patriot,” and the second, besides being a little goofy, gets her birth year wrong.

To see them all, click here.

“But these commemorations are all secular!” some may say. “What do they have to do with serving God?”

When Frances Perkins said, “I came to Washington to serve God, FDR, and millions of forgotten, plain common workingmen,” she demonstrated by her life and work that there is no secular world. It all belongs to God.

-- Heidi Shott

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Welcome, friends, to the last full week of Lent Madness. Today we get the final match-up of the Round of the Saintly Sixteen. Then Tuesday through Friday we'll experience the four battles of the Elate Eight as we encounter the controversial mirth of saintly kitsch. More about that tomorrow.

But first it's Benedict of Nursia tangling with Dorothy Day for a shot at Luke the Evangelist. Dorothy made it here by knocking off Edward Thomas Demby while Benedict routed Anne, Jesus' grandma.

We hope everyone made it through another weekend of Lent Madness Withdrawal without having to enter online rehab. The SEC has counselors standing by if you need additional help. We did our part by offering you FREE Lent Madness ringtones for you smart phones. And we also offered some timely advice to Pope Francis from one Supreme (Executive Committee) to another Supreme (Pontiff). It was the least we could do. Really.

Finally, the mysterious Maple Anglican kicks off his daily videos today which will run throughout the duration of Lent Madness. At which point perhaps he will get a real job.

Benedict of Nursia

Benedict of Nursia (c.480-c.550) is the subject of numerous legends in the second book of Gregory the Great’s Dialogues. One is about a youthful Benedict whose housekeeper borrowed a sieve that was then accidentally broken into two pieces. The housekeeper began to weep, so Benedict began to pray. When he finished, the sieve was found to be whole. After word of this miracle spread throughout the town, the sieve was hung on the door of the local church. Benedict was treated like a Lent Madness Celebrity Blogger. But he renounced such fame, fleeing both the town and his housekeeper. OK…that was totally weird. Let’s move on to quotes from his famous Rule for monastic life.

From Chapter 53 (“On the Reception of Guests”):

“Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ…

“In the salutation of all guests, whether arriving or departing, let all humility be shown. Let the head be bowed or the whole body prostrated on the ground in adoration of Christ, who indeed is received in their persons.

“After the guests have been received and taken to prayer, let the Superior or someone appointed by him sit with them. Let the divine law be read before the guest for his edification, and then let all kindness be shown him. The Superior shall break his fast for the sake of a guest, unless it happens to be a principal fast day which may not be violated. The brethren, however, shall observe the customary fasts. Let the Abbot give the guests water for their hands; and let both Abbot and community wash the feet of all guests.…

“In the reception of the poor and of pilgrims the greatest care and solicitude should be shown, because it is especially in them that Christ is received…”

From Chapter 49 (“On the Observance of Lent”):

“Although the life of a monk ought to have about it at all times the character of a Lenten observance, yet since few have the virtue for that, we therefore urge that during the actual days of Lent the brethren keep their lives most pure and at the same time wash away during these holy days all the negligences of other times.…

“During these days, therefore, let us increase somewhat the usual burden of our service, as by private prayers and by abstinence in food and drink. Thus everyone of his own will may offer God ‘with joy of the Holy Spirit’ (1 Thess. 1:6) something above the measure required of him. From his body, that is he may withhold some food, drink, sleep, talking and jesting; and with the joy of spiritual desire he may look forward to holy Easter.”

And isn't that precisely what Lent Madness helps us all do? "Look forward to holy Easter with the joy of spiritual desire."

 -- Neil Alan Willard

Dorothy Day

From the time of her conversion to Christian faith in the mid-1920s, Dorothy Day, an American laywoman who co-founded the Catholic Worker movement, served as an exemplar to all who would seek to live lives of faithfulness to God by serving those in need.

Prior to her conversion, Day was a wild bohemian girl who wrote for socialist publications and hob-nobbed with prominent radicals in Greenwich Village. However, as Day wrote in her autobiography,”The Long Loneliness,” the experience of the birth of her daughter Tamar magnified her love and devotion to God. “It was all very well to love God in His works, in the beauty of His creation, which was crowned for me by the birth of my child... The final object of this love and gratitude was God. No human creature could receive or contain so vast a floor of love and joy as I often felt after the birth of my child. With this came the need to worship, to adore.”

Before long Day translated that worship and adoration into the nitty-gritty of serving the needs of people living in poverty and protesting the injustices of society. The movement’s houses of hospitality and farm communes are based on her belief that such work is best done in community. She wrote, “Men are beginning to realize that they are not individuals but persons in society, that man alone is weak and adrift, that he must seek strength in common action.”

In her famous Union Square speech of November 1965, she said,

"I speak as one who is old, and whose whole lifetime has seen the cruelty and hysteria of war in this last half century. But who has also seen, praise God, the emerging nations of Africa and Asia, and Latin America, achieving in many instances their own freedom through non-violent struggles, side by side with violence. Our own country has through tens of thousand of the Negroe [sic] people, shown an example to the world of what a non-violent struggle can achieve. This very struggle, begun by students, by the young, by the seemingly helpless, have led the way in vision, in courage, even in a martyrdom, which has been shared by the little children, in the struggle for full freedom and for human dignity which means the right to health, education, and work which is a full development of man’s God-given talents."

In 1976 Day asked Robert Ellsburg, a 20-year-old student on leave from Harvard who had come to New York to work with her, to be the managing editor of The Catholic Worker. At 77 she was in “retirement” and left the day-to-day operation of things to “the young people.” Ellsburg wrote, “My promotion had very little to do with any qualification for the job and everything to do with the fact that no one else was particularly interested. Dorothy had faith in people, and she was able to make them feel her faith as well, so they forgot their feelings of inadequacy and found themselves doing all kinds of things they never dreamed possible.”

At 19, while writing a garden-variety undergraduate paper on Day for a class on Christian political communities, I discovered this quote by Day that continues to transform the way I looked at prayer. She wrote that “prayer is outside of time.” As the only non-seminary trained Celebrity Blogger, I have no real interest in whether that notion has any theological chops. Frankly, I don’t care. What matters is me is that the idea that prayer is not constrained by the limitations of the “now” is a highly liberating concept that enlarges my view of God.

Historian Walter G. Moss, in his 2011 monograph, “The Wisdom of Dorothy Day,” concludes,

“More than three decades after her death, her legacy remains impressive. By 2011, according to the Catholic Worker website, ‘213 Catholic Worker communities remain committed to nonviolence, voluntary poverty, prayer, and hospitality for the homeless, exiled, hungry, and forsaken. Catholic Workers continue to protest injustice, war, racism, and violence of all forms.’ Her work and legacy continue to serve as a gentle reminder, to politicians and intellectuals among others, that what matters most is not what we say or how we label ourselves, but what we do. As psychologist Robert Sternberg wrote, ‘People are wise to the extent that they use their intelligence to seek a common good.’ By that measure Dorothy Day was wise indeed.”

However, Day herself said, “Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily.”

-- Heidi Shott

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A day after Florence Li Tim-Oi left Gregory the Great chanting to himself in despair, we have a clash of two women, one Biblical and one modern. Martha of Bethany and Harriet Tubman are duking it out for a chance at Hilda of Whitby (and NO this is not a conspiracy to have these worthy women knock one another out of the bracket). To get to this point, Martha stomped on the "Little Flower," Therese of Lisieux while Harriet made quick work of Nicholas Ferrar.

This is the penultimate match-up of the Round of the Saintly Sixteen (we really do love that word) with the last battle taking place between Benedict of Nursia and Dorothy Day on Monday. Then we're on to the Elate Eight, aka the round of Saintly Kitsch. What will your Celebrity Bloggers dredge up? What distasteful and tacky saint-ware will see the light of day? Will the easily offended shun Lent Madness entirely? These are the questions that await us starting on Tuesday.

In the meantime we all face another weekend without Lent Madness and the inherent hollowness of despair.

Martha of Bethany

Martha, sister of Mary and Lazarus, testified to Jesus, saying “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.” Despite all you may have heard about Martha, nowhere in the Bible does it actually say she does any cooking or cleaning. “Tasks,” yes. “Work,” sure. And though one might infer that these are domestic chores, that is an inference only, not to be found in Scripture.

This didn’t stop Irma Rombauer from putting Martha on the cover of the 1931 edition of The Joy of Cooking, “slaying the dragon of kitchen drudgery.”

The dragon part of the image actually has stronger literary connections to Martha than cooking does. According to the Golden Legend, after the Resurrection, Martha, Mary, Lazarus, and several others were persecuted and set adrift in the Mediterranean in a boat with no oars or sails which somehow ended up in Marseilles. Martha made her way to a region between Arles and Avignon that was besieged by “a great dragon, half beast and half fish, greater than an ox, longer than an horse, having teeth sharp as a sword, and horned on either side, head like a lion, tail like a serpent, and defended him with two wings on either side.” She stunned him with holy water (query: where did she get it?) and two sticks made into a cross. She dragged the bad boy back to town (either using her own hair or her belt) where he was killed. The dragon’s name was Tarasque, and the town Tarascon-Sur-Rhone was named for him. There’s an annual Fetes de la Tarasque the last week in June when the dragon is lured from his lair “accompanied by chevaliers” (query: what did they do to deserve to be there?).

Despite this feat of derring-do, Martha has a hard time shaking her domestic image. In Margaret Atwood’s novel The Handmaid’s Tale, “older infertile women whose compliant nature and domestic skills recommend them to a life of domestic servitude” are known simply as Marthas. Martha Stewart didn’t do her any favors either.

St. Augustine, however, notes that Martha’s work is important for Christians to emulate and that Jesus “did not say that Martha was acting a bad part.” Instead, this “necessary business” would someday be unnecessary, and “that part which is occupied in the ministering to a need shall be ‘taken away’ when the need itself has passed away.”

The Golden Legend conveys this understanding as Christ appears to Martha on her deathbed, saying, “Come, my well-beloved hostess, for where I am thou shalt be with me. Thou hast received me in thine harbour and I shall receive thee in mine heaven.”

 -- Laura Toepfer

Harriet Tubman

Harriet Tubman devoted her life to fighting for freedom -- whether leading slaves to Canada on the Underground Railroad, becoming a nurse, spy, and soldier in the Union Army, or fighting for the rights of women.

She described escaping into freedom in this way: "I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person. There was such a glory over everything; the sun came up like gold through the trees, and over the fields, and I felt like I was in heaven."

Harriet was rock-solid in her faith -- a necessity in the life she led. She would pray, "Oh Lord! You've been with me in six troubles. Don't desert me in the seventh."

Once, while in charge of several escaping slaves, Harriet led them to the next house in the journey, only to discover upon knocking that the previous owner had gone, and a stranger now lived there. Afraid that the new owner had sounded the alarm, she led the band of escapees to a nearby swamp, where they waited, and Harriet prayed, for over a day. At nightfall, Harriet saw a Quaker man pacing by their hiding place, muttering to himself, "My wagon stands ready in the next barn across the way, the horse is in the stable and the harness is on the nail." Harriet snuck out of their hiding place to discover everything just as the Quaker had said -- a fully stocked wagon with food, and a ready horse. They made it to the next stop, and freedom, in safety.

Harriet also had a gift for faith-based fundraising for her conductor work on the Railroad. One morning, she approached a well-known abolitionist in New York, and informed him that God had told her that he "had twenty dollars to give her to free the slaves." The gentleman was not convinced. Undeterred, Harriet staged a one-woman sit-in in his office. She sat down, and calmly, politely continued to sit throughout the day, as the man continued to do his business.  People came and went, wondering who this determined black lady sitting in the corner could be, but by the time it was over, the gentleman had given sixty dollars to Harriet.

Of her work on the Railroad, Harriet said later, "I was a Conductor on the Underground Railroad for eight years, and I can say what most other conductors can't say; I never ran my train off the track and I never lost a passenger."

She explained her motivation thusly: "I had crossed that line of which I had been so long dreaming. I was free, but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land.

-- Megan Castellan

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Today's match-up pits two writers against one another. Evangelist vs. Poet. In other words if you've ever experienced the agony of writer's block, this battle's for you.

No one seemed to experience voter's block yesterday as Hilda of Whitby held off a feisty Ignatius of Antioch to advance to the Elate Eight. She'll face the winner of Martha of Bethany vs. Harriet Tubman (good luck with that).

While everyone knows we have the best Celebrity Bloggers in the Celebrity Blogger business, we need to say a word about our own Laurie Brock. Some of you may know that a few days ago Laurie took a spill off her galloping horse and fell onto a fence. While she's at home and recovering nicely, she did break several ribs and punctured a lung. We invite you, the Lent Madness community, to keep Laurie in your prayers in the weeks ahead. An out-of-commission priest less than three weeks before Easter is not a good thing.

While the SEC got off its duff and wrote yesterday's write-up for Hilda (one of Laurie's saints), Laurie insisted on writing today's entry for John Donne. In other words, she is so dedicated to Lent Madness that she overcame broken bones and internal injuries to fulfill her commitment. While most of us would be crying while curled up in the fetal position and cursing the world (speaking for myself), Laurie has gotten right back in the Lent Madness saddle (um, bad analogy). Of course, this shouldn't affect your voting choice since the last thing Laurie would want would be sympathy votes for John Donne.

Tim and Scott addressed Laurie's situation and the inherent hazards of Celebrity Bloggership in yesterday's edition of Monday Madness along with a response to the accusation that Lent Madness is a liberal religious gambling site. Monday Madness: It's must see (low production value internet) TV!

And finally, if you haven't liked Lent Madness on Facebook (and reaped the benefits of all the bonus material) this is the week to do so. We're on a campaign to hit 5,000 likes by the end of the week. Why? Because we like round numbers and Tim and Scott could use the affirmation as a measure of their self-worth. Thanks to all our new "likers" who heeded the call yesterday -- well over 150 of you -- to put us at 4,859 as of this very moment.

Luke the Evangelist

Luke the Evangelist and author of Luke-Acts gave us many key stories of the New Testament, including stories of Jesus’ birth and the arrival of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. But the stories about Luke himself are thin on the ground. What is he hiding? He’s the patron saint of bachelors and brewers, which is suggestive. Was he part of a fraternity? He was a Greek after all.

He’s also the patron saint of painters, based on a legend that he painted an official portrait of the Madonna. Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a sonnet about “St. Luke the Painter” that begins:

Give honor unto Luke Evangelist
For he it was (the aged legends say)
Who first taught Art to fold her hands and pray.

It is claimed that both the Black Madonna of Czestochowa and the Madonna Nikopeia were painted by Luke with the Madonna sitting as model, telling him stories of Jesus’ life and ministry.

Luke is often seen with his emblem of an ox, which either symbolizes the priestly aspect of his gospel (since it begins with the priest Zechariah) or the sacrificial nature of Jesus’ ministry. Or someone decided to make the four beasts surrounding God’s throne in Ezekiel 1 match the four gospels of the New Testament canon and Luke got the ox.

There is another story about Luke in the Golden Legend of Jacobus de Voragine (compiled in the 13th-Century) that claims Luke appeared to the Christians of Antioch who “had abandoned themselves to vice,” and were “besieged by a horde of the Turks.” Luckily, with Luke’s intercession, “the Christians straightaway put the Turks to rout.” And no doubt straightened up their act.

So apparently Luke kept an eye on his hometown of Antioch, which was probably tricky since he’s a bit scattered. In 357, his remains were moved to Constantinople by Constantine, then later taken to Padua, having been stolen by Crusaders. In 1992, the Greek Orthodox Metropolitan Ieronymos of Thebes and Levathia requested a bit of Luke and received “the rib of Luke that was closest to his heart,” which is now buried in Thebes. His head somehow ended up in Prague at some point, apparently. Other competing relics include three arms, a knee, two fingers, a tooth, and some miscellaneous bones.

A DNA test of a tooth from the Padua relics, however, suggest the remains are indeed “characteristic of people living near the region of Antioch, on the eastern Mediterranean, where Luke is said to have been born. Radiocarbon dating of the tooth indicates that it belonged to someone who died between 72 A.D. and 416 A.D.” So you know that’s legit.

-- Laura Toepfer

John Donne

John Donne’s life preached the truth that humans are complex, rich texts. Like the stories in our Holy Scripture, one cannot read the section of Donne’s later ordained life as Dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral in 17th-century England without reading the first chapters of his adventures as a rake and scoundrel. Donne was born into a prominent Roman Catholic family and attended several institutions of higher learning, never attaining a degree. Instead, he jumped ship to the European continent, wrote bawdy poetry, womanized, partied, and lived life out loud while writing even more poetry. After going legit (sort of -- he was still one of London’s official playboys), his wit and intelligence landed him a job as the private secretary to one of the highest officials in the queen’s court. He secured a seat in Elizabeth’s last parliament and was on the fast track to fame and fortune. Then he ruined it all for love. He secretly married Ann More and her father and John’s employer were totally opposed to the match. Yet they married. Donne got sacked and landed in jail, along with the priest who married them. Donne summed up the experience in one sentence:  “John Donne, Ann Donne, Undone.”

While Donne had quietly converted to Anglicanism some time during the 1590‘s, he began more deeply to explore his faith in the early 1600’s. He began to mingle the erotic sexuality of his early poetry with what Donne called the “amorous seeking of Christ.” He quoted Solomon to explain his erotic religious poetry (and probably his earlier erotic not-so-religious poetry), reminding us that Solomon “was amorous, and excessive in the love of women: when he turned to God, he departed not utterly from his old phrase and language, but...conveys all his loving approaches and applications to God.”

His friends began to urge him to consider holy orders. He resisted, noting that some in England considered him a pornographer and that, “some irregularities of my life have been so visible to some men.” King James, however, wanted him to become a priest, and the king’s will was done.  Donne was ordained and soon became known as a great preacher in a era of great preachers.

Many of Donne’s poems, essays, and sermons during this time reflect a fixation on death (many being code for most). During his 10-year tenure as Dean of St. Paul’s the Black Plague swept through London thrice (this is about Donne; I can use thrice). His beloved wife Ann died before he became Dean and 5 of his 12 children died in childhood. He had a painting done of himself in a death shroud before he died. Yet his words focus not on the hopelessness of death, but the embrace of God’s love that awaits us through the gates of death.

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me....
One short sleep past, we wake eternally
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Donne’s life -- all of it -- preached. His sermons, his poetry, his satire, and his essays weave the fullness of human life together. Courageously he did not edit out the distasteful, racy parts, but allowed all the words he lived and wrote to be offered to the glory of God. Donne’s life was filled with love, loss, passion, mistakes, poverty, riches and redemption. No chapter was wasted or ignored by Donne or God.  For Donne, “[A]ll mankind is of one author and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated. God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God’s hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another.”

-- Laurie Brock

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