Yesterday saw J. S. Bach easily blasting Alfred the Great with both organ music and votes (65% to 35%). In a statement for the media, Johann said in a thick German accent, “I’ll be Bach…to face Anna Cooper in the next round.”
Since we had the only Saturday contest of Lent Madness 2014 last weekend, this is the first full weekend without any voting. Many veterans of the saintly smackdown describe these long periods between votes as difficult, indeed. Thousands of fans suffer Lent Madness Withdrawal or LMW. We’ve offered tips before (here and here). This year, we want to encourage you to “live into” LMW. Embrace it. Face those demons. Here are five ways to survive LMW by embracing it.
If you can think of a machine that might stave off LMW, you can contract with an actual LMW factory in India to manufacture this device. Give the SEC a big enough cut, and we might sell it in the Lentorium.
Move to a new state or country and buy a car. Repeat until you get a license plate staring with LMW. If you get this particular number and drive a white VW Beetle, you can also show that you’re a fan of the Beatles, who will doubtless be added to the Episcopal Church’s calendar of saints one day.
If you can invent a medication to treat LMW, you’ll become rich. Or find another way to become an LMW profiteer.
Find a way to harness the nervous energy of thousands of people pacing back and forth as they wait for Monday morning’s voting to open. If you can pull that off, you’ll have something better than green energy: purple energy. It’s a win-win.
If all else fails, throw a party.
Hey, the good news is that voting will return on Monday morning at 8:00 a.m. Eastern time. We might even add some bonus content on Sunday morning to help you through the weekend. That’s how much the SEC cares about your well being. You’re welcome.